Ark Music Factory Top 5 Videos

26 04 2011

Though none are as famous as Rebecca Black’s Friday, these videos are – well if anything they are far, far worse. Friday is so fun to make fun of, these are mostly sad…. ok they’re fun to laugh at too.

There’s something about talentless tweens with their parents’ $$$$ that just makes for a spectacular fail.

#5 Hooked on You by Devon Fox

Ok unless you’re on X Files or in a video game, you can’t have ‘Fox’ in your name (isn’t that the same intro to Friday?)

Second of all when are these prepubescent boys going to realize that until they grow hair on their balls, they are going look and sound like women, and other than closet lesbians their fan base is primarily sick dirty old men. Who wants to appeal to that?!

America has lost its masculinity….. anywho

#4 Danika, I Don’t Need you Boy

Ha she looks like Stevie Wonder in the intro!

Ah saved by the rapper guy with lines like “his element of surprise is not in front of you or your back, you gotta watch your back, like kryptonite.” I mean why is this guy wasting time with kids when he can make his own music right? *sigh*

#3 Britt Rutter – Without Your Love

Now here’s a story I can get into. Pudge and some guy Skype, he forgets to turn off the cam and she catches him jacking off, banging some other girl, plotting a school shooting, microwaving a cat, banging some other guy perfectly aligning his camera down the hall, opening the door to a girl, and leaving. Pudge then gets her revenge by recording and sending out a video of him jacking off, banging some other girl, plotting a school shooting, microwaving a cat, banging some other guy, drooling, and he is made a fool.

#2 Sarah Maugaotega – Take it Easy

I’m not going to be mean and say this was the Special Olympics after party. I just think that clearly this girl doesn’t “want to rush this…no”

#1 CJ Fam – Ordinary Pop Star

Ok no lie, this is the only genuinely entertaining video here. It’s funny for what it is, not for what it’s trying to be .. and failing at. Its cheezy, catchy and this girl kinda looks like/sounds like Chuckie from Rugrats.. entertainment all the way. This girl reminds me of this kid on that show “Im gonna exploit the hell out of my child so that I can force them to make up for the failure at life that I am” “Toddlers in Tiaras”

I like how all these say OFFICIAL VIDEO as opposed to all the unofficial ones that are sure to be floating around.

Notable Mention: Rebecca Black – Rap REMIX

“Now you know the days of the week give yourselves a round of applause.”

“Keeping on moving forward everybody stop.”

“This is Ark. Ark Ark Music Factory has educated you on the days of the week.”

“We gonna have fried eggs”

Oh Fat Usher (he calls himself this in this song…so ya know….), you slay me with your lyrical skills!

-E

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