How to Make a New MSI Album

14 12 2010

Considering what a Hot Topicized piece of shit the last Mindless Self Indulgence album “If” was (click here to read a review of “If” detailing why it was so f-ing lame. I’m not judging, I know, I would do it too. It’s not easy for a local NYC act to secure their financial future in order to keep rocking for years to come.. but… It must have sucked playing with such shitty bands like Linkin Park and My Chemical Romance and dealing with their screaming prepubescent fans/older …fans, who still like them!?!), I am stupidly happy to see how awesome the new Left Rights album “Bad Choices Made Easy” is. Now the last Left Rights album had more songs about poop and hard onz than I could ever ask for. This album has even more poop! Even more HARD ONZ! LITTLE HARD ONZ at that!

But what is that under all those pubes? A hidden Mindless Self Indulgence album?!

Here’s how to get a full MSI album out of “Bad Choices Made Easy”:

Step one: get “Bad Choices Mad Easy” (don’t torrent it!)

Step two: Steal the album cover image from whoever you can using Google image search (get the one without any words on it to make step 3 easier).

Step three: Photoshop “Mindless Self Indulgence” onto the picture in some shitty form or another. Here’s mine:

Step four: Now here’s the step that actually matters. Take the following tracks (the order I put them in rocks):

1. Fuck MSI: Seriously, other than being left off “Despierta Los Niños” (yeah didn’t think I’d notice you recycling that airplane sample from Wack!) why does this even exist, it doesn’t have anything to do with the Left Rights.

2. I’m on Crack: Hey if a real Left Rights album could have mad MSI references, a fake MSI one can have one. Samples Left Rights’ last album but again, over a minute and goes from verse to chorus.

3. Why You In My Phyzical: Auto-tuned madness, straight to the punch, this song fucken rocks and really it makes me wonder, Why You In My Phyzical?

4. Genesis 16:12: no poop + no Steve + video game references + over 1 minute = MSI

5. Super Suburb Chix: Aside from xylophone and pitch change, the samples on this song make it sound like it got kicked off “Frankenstein Girls” (unlike Mark David fucken Chapman which was made after compiling the results from a couple of online voting polls and was supposed to sound like “Frankenstein Girls”… it didn’t… for shit… at all…. total fail)

6. Geeks for Fans: Quotes from the interviewer on the track, “When is the TIGHT re-release? Where are the other members of Mindless Self Indulgence?” Talking about MSI = MSI

7. XYZPDQBGS: Examine that zipper! Just sounding verrry mindlessy. That’s about it.

8. Whistling Dixie: (see #7)

9. White: “This is better than standing still at a Radiohead concert.” Saving the best for last, White is pure MSI. The sarcasm! The insensitive references! All with a touch of nonsense and it’s catchy as hell. Here’s their badass video directed by Jhonen Vasquez (this video is such….. an experience).

And that’s it! You now have a new MSI album!

If you want to be super spiffy throw these tracks into a program like NERO where you can take out the time in between the tracks and overlay them by a second, really making it sound like an album (and make you not seem so desperate for new not sucky songs from MSI you lame ass… or not).

-Whiptwizzle

p.s. to be fair Animal, Revenge, Mark David Chapman, Pay For It are all old songs recorded for “If,” but … I’ll stick with the live versions of the first two (especially Revenge) and the demos for the last two… just saying.

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